It was always me

Hard but fun. I always thought I can be a better person for the special person in my life, to be the one that will always love her and take care of her but I was wrong. Because of my twisted mind I constantly create problem and pointing out her as the cause but while reflecting into it, it turns out that it was I who thinks a lot and really the root of it. I'm scared that one day, she will grow tired of me and leave me or it is the other way around? Currently there are thoughts in my head that I can't understand, maybe this is what she told me that I will be bonded by my commitment though I know I don't want to leave her. This ain't that easy since we are just starting and I am haunted by her not so good history, but overall I do appreciate what she's doing and I hope I can do better now moving forward.